Vanquish and Write by Samuel Colbran

Searching through the mist of imagination there is a corridor that leads to Land of Lost Dreams, realm of Pub the Lisher.

It seems that the ‘Hero’ needs to find a way to vanquish the dreaded villainous Pub the Lisher. Hero move towards the entrance way, a brief moment pondering the journey ahead.

Hero sees no need for a dramatic well-thought-out scene, as it is just as Hero’s Scribe deems it to be. Wielding the sword of Show and wearing the armour of Ne’er Tell, the Hero enters the corridor of plot holes and come across the Romantic Interest or RI with the Long-Time-Friend or LTF.

RI sees the Hero and moves toward the slowing down plot line, it seems the Hero is taken aback due to the sudden Romantic Interest. The Hero knows that the only way this pause in the action is to rely on Hero’s LTF.

LTF sees the RI approaching the Hero and LTF gestures to the Hero and motions toward the corridor. Hero with a tear clinging to the corner of the eye kisses the RI gently and joins LTF to continue to venture down the hall. RI mournfully look upon the Hero understanding that some paths are left for the Hero to travel alone with a twist (spoiler).

The trail turns toward this mouldy back-room corridor. The Hero sees a group of fiends; Re-Ject-Riters. They see a perfect character in the Hero that their anger rises toward that this well-written protagonist. With Quills in hand, they mass to attack our Hero.

Drawing the Sword of Show, a truth washes over the Re-Ject-Riters, they see the glory of a completed story but are not impressed. Anger and Loathing rise from them in waves, their quills scratching at the paper to undermined the Hero. Blow after blow from these crimson words bombard our Hero, as LTF looks on with a bewildered look of confusion.

Knowing that it would save the Hero, LTF launches at the Re-Ject-Riters to allow the Hero to escape. They cackle at LTF, at the second-rate characterisation and one-dimensional personality. LTF looks back and does what a friend need to do. With a heavy heart knowing this will lead to the death of LTF, Hero squaring shoulders with determination turns to leave. Weeping Hero will always remember Long-Time-Friend.

Hero contemplates the reason for the quest of Pub the Lisher’s defeat, as Hero has lost Friend and Love Interest along the way. Only finding some way to combat this threat, sitting in the Wait ‘Oom. It suddenly occurs to the Hero! A magical companion known as A ‘Gent, a small, weak-looking creature that can find a way past Pub the Lisher’s maze of RE-rites.

Needing the knowledge of where to find A ‘Gents whereabouts, Hero picks up a magical device known as the Net of the Inter, to confer with O-Lord of Oogle.

Oogle knows of many things, will share with a price. The price is high, but the location of A ‘Gents will be revealed. Knowing that Oogle is tricky, look on the following page, and sees the actual information. Taking his leave from Lord Oogle, as the price was his Ne’er Tell Armour, a worthy sacrifice to find A ‘Gent.

Defenceless but hopeful that A ‘Gent will help protect from Pub the Lisher, Hero strides toward the home of ‘Gents…

Will A ‘Gent assist the Hero? Will Pub the Lisher be the end of our Hero’s Story? Find out next time on Being Published.


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