Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why and my thoughts.

Warning, this is some deep shit!

You have been warned!

I have just stayed up all night binging a series on Netflix, called 13 Reasons Why. Before I go off on my tangent, watch this series. Just loved it, but it also opened my eye.

It inspired me and clicked on a switch that hasn’t thought about for a long time. This blog is about to put away my book and talk about bullying, and its effects on people; that person is me.

I don’t tell people this often, but I have a fantastic memory, well it can be subjective sometimes, but I can close my eyes and remember past events from bygone years. I remember watching the Incredible Hulk, the 1980’s television show with my brother Steven while I was two or three, the time I swallowed a marble and then rushed to the hospital and the time I was my brother’s lookout while he let off fireworks. Well, the lookout is too strong a word, being three at the time I thought I just watch for people not warning my brother about our mother busting him. Fun times.

I can recall the abuse I suffered at the hands of my step-mother. The beatings, the starvation, the humiliation, and of course suffocation.  I also can remember the police putting us (my sister and me) first into a hospital and then on to a foster home, where a fellow foster child sexually assaulted me.

Now, this is depressing; I should know I suffer from depression but stay with me I have a point.

Now primary school, from age seven to ten, were the best years of my life! (that was until I wrote Lake Merrin) Was back home with my mother and now new step-father (I have a few thing to say about him later). Friends were good, the teacher was understanding, and it was a real life. So much support. That was until we moved to Kingston in Tasmania.

That was my first time I have experienced bullying since all those years ago. It was like five years, but at that point, it was half of my life. The first day, while I had a tour of the school, every kid and I mean everyone insulted me. It was the same insult, fat-ollie. Now I am fat, I know I am fat, I see myself daily naked, I know what fat is. Being told you are fat is a whole different kettle of fish. I wish they were more original, I mean fat-ollie. After that I used to challenge people to think of a better insult, it gets old fast. Sometimes you just must stand up and own your shit!

It got worse when I went to high school. And I don’t want to explain what happened but it wasn’t just the school it was home as well. At the age of 13, my step-father told me and over the next few year told me, again and again, I was useless and not his son. Fuck you, Bernie! Nearly killed myself several times over my teenage years when it just was too much. Why did I stop? Because I have an imagination, can picture the aftermath of said act. I couldn’t do that to people, and I didn’t want to be weak. So I endured and endured. Survived shutting off my emotions, took me years to turn them back on. I wish I can’t remember these things, but I do and will for the rest of my life.

Bullying and abuse, such lovely words. What do people want? Hearing this anti-bullying system, how that will stop all this. Sorry to say, no it does not. Looking down at others is what people do. I am guilty of this when I was younger, but the older I got, the more I realised that as the old saying goes ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’. Poetic. This show made sad that this happened, happens and will be happening after I post this blog. What can we do? First off, stop the bullshit! Second, learn from different people, cultures, religions and view them in a different light. Thirdly be kind, be accepting, be welcoming, be human. We are not monsters; we are better than that.

 

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One thought on “Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why and my thoughts.”

  1. You are an amazing person, Sam. To survive everything you’ve been through, to keep going despite the bullying and the abuse. To emerge from that as a kind, loving, caring person exploring your creativity and supporting other writers. I’m humbled by your strength. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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