Hello, my dear followers, Facebook likes, and Twitter followers. I am an online dater, sad isn’t it? Well, it is sad because I am so bad at it. I don’t have pictures of cars or jet skis. I don’t send a picture of my penis to a complete stranger, hoping that will impress her. I don’t want to be as the young people talk ‘Down to fornicate’ or DTF. I am a gentleman, who like to open doors for people, and making people feel comfortable and content.
I am the worst at ONLINE DATING!
I have been doing this journey for ten years. I have dated women, but each one had something broken. Not saying that every woman who uses this type of dating is broken, but I go out of my way to only date broken women.
An example, a girl I dated for a while had a wild weekend with an ex and got knocked up, and this fabulous ‘man’ gave her 1500 dollars to have an abortion. Sweet guy. Now she told me 6 hours before my first mathematics exam at university, still I made an overall mark of 82% because I am a smart gentleman. Now you would think, that was it, no more cheating woman? No, you are so wrong! Not only did I emotionally support her, but I was also willing to put my name on the birth certificate, so her bastard child had a father.
Knight in shining armour! I am an idiot.
Another story, I dated a girl for a while, and we went well. But, I was supporting my sister and niece because the dad was a drop kick. She broke up with me because I care for my family. Now a year later, she started to date someone, like 5 seconds after the breakup and she invited me to a party, and after everyone had gone to bed, we went for a walk. During this stroll, she said she loved me! She was still with this guy, and he was at her home asleep. That is all kinds of fucked up! Story not over yet. She asked me if they broke up, would I give her another chance? Being the genius dumbarse, I said yes. To cut a long story short, they ended 4 years later, and I asked her out because I promised I would. And she freaked and started dating this guy’s best friend. Would you think she was happy, hell no! She told me again she made a mistake and she loves me.
Moral of the story, don’t be dumb
Time and time again, I fall for a girl and for some reason they freak out when we start to become serious. So I gave up. Haven’t dated for nearly a year, had more important things to do with me. Being a carer for my Mum and writing my first book. As you could tell I am a sucker for punishment, so I re-activated my dating account. I have no bites. Still, I know I pick up another broken woman, be that guy she needs and once she picks herself up, bye bye Sam.
When the chips are down, rant!
This isn’t a rant, I am amusing myself. I have had a really F’up love life. I mean really. Won’t go into my last one, because I think it was the worst and I had a girl cheat on me, and I was going to be the Daddy for her child. Wow.
So I thought of a new way to amuse myself ask a series of ridiculous questions on my profile. These are my top ten ‘never to get laid’ questions.
IF you want to talk to me, answer one of these questions.
1. x²+4x+4=0, solve x.
2. Next Prime Number after 19?
3. where does this quote come from “Isn’t it easier to forgive than to hate?”
4. Name of Raymond E Feist 15th book in chronological Reading order?
5. What is your favourite comic book movie?
6. What is the difference between Fae and a Fairy?
7. Why is Anne Rice’s Vampyrs better than Stephenie Meyer’s Vampires?
8. What is the atomic weight of Au?
9. If a train is moving at the speed of light and you throw a ball, is the ball moving faster than the speed of light?
10. Do you think these questions are a waste of your time?
Talk to me if you answered no to number 10.
I like to see if I can pick women up with these? If I do, I am going to laugh my arse off!